Friday, April 15, 2011

‘Republic of PortoTora’ Prison

The year is 2025. The day is February 11th. Clear weather and sun shine were promising it to be a good day. Despite that, you could easily notice the anxiety in the air around the heavily guarded walls of the prison. Renamed 14 years ago, as a result of an internal referendum rumored to be rigged, the Republic of PortoTora prison has been enjoying the bless of stability, under the guidance of its 96-years-of-age-but-heart-of-a-30-year-old inmate President, Kobhi (قبحي) Mubarak.

The choking anxiety was attributed to the recent events the RPT prison has been experiencing for the past 18 days. A group of the young inmates called for protests all around the different compounds of the prison. Crowds of more than a 100 fellow inmates, including the Prison Brotherhood banned group, have responded to the call and fought the 15 guards on duty, to occupy the prison’s main square; Ifrag (افراج) square. They have been organizing a sit-in ever since. Their protests were initially for better meals, better facilities, and equality with other high profile inmates. All that changed when more than 10 were reported dead during what later came to be known as the ‘dog battle’, where pro-Mubarak NDP (National Democratic Prison) inmates attacked the protesters with stray dogs and rats. The protesters held strong, only to demand the immediate banishment of Mubarak and his posse.      

Mubarak had all his loyal men around him. His right hand man, Zakariya Ya’esi (يئسي), who had been reassuring the inmate President since the start of the protests that the majority of the prison population still love him and regard him as their grandfather. Chief personal guard, Kareeh (كريه) el Adly, had failed in his job to protect the inmate President since day 3 of the uprising, and had since taken a backseat role publicly wearing his pinkish bathrobe. The one who jumped into action and took the lead in orchestrating the attack of the ‘dog battle’, was Safwat al Sha’en (الشائن) the prison’s official pimp.

Other figures of Mubarak’s posse were also showing their loyalty and support. His legal advisor, Fathi Ekti’ab (اكتئاب) who holds a PhD titled ‘The hypocritical excellence in the instant agreeability of a show of hands’, tried to turn the protesters on each other by spreading hate between inmates of the eastern and western compounds. His propaganda campaigner, Sa’am (سأم) al Fikki, staged a fake publicity stunt presented by the semi-famous announcer duo Abd (عبد) and Estihala (إستحالة) accusing protesters of being infiltrators from another prison. Meanwhile, Mubarak’s high profile posse member, the mini-sized business-inmate Ahmad Fakr (فقر), owner of the prison’s only soap distributing company ‘Fakr al Dekheila’, gave several speeches denying his accountability of illicit profiteering.

It’s also worth mentioning that some reports claim that yesterday, February 10th,  Mubarak’s older son, Enhidar (إنحدار) slapped his younger brother, Dameem (دميم) on the face as a result of a fight between the two. Their mother, Suzanne Mohtazz (مهتز), was reported to have fainted witnessing the fight.

After 18 continuous days of mass demonstrations, the protesters decided today that enough was enough. They marched towards the Presidential cell, attacked the 2 useless guards at the door and stormed in. They captured Mubarak, family, and posse and dragged them to the main prison square where they were all publicly executed by hanging in a clear message to anyone who dares to oppress the inmates of the RPT prison in the future.

The insinuated pitch to this blabbering: Don’t let the army finish your revolution.

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